I enjoy the theater. There does not have to be a huge set with falling chandeliers for me to be wowed (I don’t mind it, either). I like content and flow. A simple spotlight, a chair, a well-written script and a devoted actor can move an audience to tears, laughter and even, change. Sometimes a great play makes for a great movie. And so it is with A Streetcar Named Desire. Tennessee Williams’ play about a young couple living modestly in New Orleans when the wife’s sister arrives in need and in poor condition.
Stanley, the husband, is rough, unkind, cruel and criminal. He is the toxic element in the play, though on the surface, we’re to think it of Blanche (the sister). It’s masterfully written and perfectly acted in the 1951 film. Toxicity is brought to a new level as the lasting impact is subtly but beautifully highlighted in the fade out on Stella (the wife).
We have Stanleys at work. Perhaps the criminality isn’t there (I hope!), but certainly the toxicity is present. There are those who thrive on rumor, judgement and being a malcontent to all. It’s a stress that can run deep in a department, if not the whole company. And for those who are victimized by these people, it’s debilitating, even devastating. Your contribution is impacted as your ability to engage is hampered by fear and frustration. And it’s time to address it.
It’s important to note that not every annoying co-worker is toxic. A toxic person is purposeful and calculated. There are reasons for their actions. The plan is to maintain position, appearance, necessity, status and/or power. It’s a corrosive experience to be with that person. Annoying and toxic are not the same thing.
Be sure that frustration over process or policy isn’t being ascribed to an individual and therefore making that person appear to be toxic. It’s always good to look at the history of engagement with the co-worker. There should be a few tell-tale signs and examples.
Toxic-dealing is not on anyone’s job description (well, maybe, a counselor or psychologist). If your work experience is being hampered by a Stanley, it’s time to address it. And if that toxic person yells for you to stay in line, don’t be a Stella.