Wicked Game: Toxicity Shouldn't Be the Way to Build Fortitude

Have you seen that hilarious commercial for the Aunts? Geico has put out some incredible commercials through the years, and this one is no exception. The concept of uninvited houseguests who also happen to be aunts of the homeowners is an approachable setup for the viewer. You may likely have an aunt like that. She comes into the home and comments on everything; it’s like a wicked game for these aunts. Our feelings of inadequacy rise to the surface. Ah, good times. To tap into such emotions, albeit tension and toxicity, brings a shared experience to life. That is the mark of a great commercial. Even though it’s been four years since its initial release, the commercial is still being played currently.

The shared experience of that commercial is fine when it’s at a distance. If we were really living that experience, however, the response would be much different. The annoyance of people pointing out your flaws and missteps would drive you out the door or to commit a felony. In the day-to-day, people in organizations tend to experience this type of interaction in a slow and steady manner. Chipping away at our self-esteem, we may sit despondent hoping that another interaction with colleagues wouldn’t be for another six months.

This cannot be the truth that we allow people to live in.

Fortitude is a great durable skill. Through encounters like these, our employees can learn how to become grounded, to filter out unnecessary distractions and to perform at the level the organization needs. But this is not an excuse for a poor work environment. The competency building needs not to be done on the backs of trauma and toxicity. In other words, the ends do not justify the means.

How else can we build fortitude in our staff? Firstly, expect the challenges and failures to come. Sounds simple, right? However, we don’t usually include in our onboarding protocols expectation management around failure. Work failure is a very real part of the experience at your organization, especially if it is promoting creativity, innovation and change.

By setting the tone for challenges to come, we promote coping mechanism development. How can an employee best train themselves in managing stress and in maintaining a forward-thinking perspective? We can provide resources in mindfulness, in relaxation, in mental acuity and toughness. All these areas can lead to a healthy development of fortitude in our staff.

It’s much easier to build support structures and cultivate adaptability when someone has invested internally in the hard work of fortitude development. Too often, organizations throw mentoring and resource groups at staff without providing a way for the individual to first invest in self. Those structures are difficult to maintain when the foundation is not there, or maybe even worse, if the “aunts” have been allowed to build their foundations.

Today is a great day to remove those Auntie Influencers; they are the ones who are now “expired!”